Libra: You send valentines to everyone you know: your hairdresser, your fourth grade teacher, your manicurist, your manicurist's cousin … You don't want anyone to feel left out.

Scorpio: Why go out for a fancy dinner when you already have dessert waiting at home? Who knew that a Cupid costume could be so sexy?

Sagittarius: You can't commit to sending a card -- what if the recipient reads too much into it? You fake temporary amnesia to avoid acknowledging the holiday.

Capricorn: Lacy hearts and syrupy sentiments make you sneeze -- besides, nothing says love like a new electronic organizer!

Aquarius: Manufactured holidays aren't your cup of decaffeinated herbal tea, but consuming a few vegan chocolates doesn't make you a conformist, does it?

Pisces: You live for this stuff! The world would be such a better place if we could all just hold hands and share heart-shaped cookies every day.

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